Mixtape #5.1: "Christmas Blues (side B)"

Hello there.  It's me again.  Another mixed bag of blues power and hoodoo mojo straight from Santa's sleigh for you.  The same mix of traditional and contemporary ballads of loss, regret, and selling one's soul to the devil.

I don't know about you lot, but christmas day for me has been an endless buffet of home cooking and action films.  Salt is good.  Really good.  Angelina Jolie is kicks positively ludicrous amounts of ass in a movie that feels equal parts Bourne Identity and Tom Clancy.  The Expendables is pretty much just a two hour orgy of violence and steroids.  So needless to say, it's been an interesting experience.  No white christmas this year.  Just rain.  And blood.  And turkey.

So what did you get this year??  Aside from an awesome collection of questionably legal free blues songs you found on some dude's blog, that is...  Me??  I got a new xbox controller that looks like it belongs to Darth Vader, some truly awesome books, and a pony.  Okay, granted, the pony is plush.  And  I got it for opening a new savings account at the bank the other day.  Still though, it's the thought that counts.  I've been asking for a pony for years, but mostly as a joke.  I never really thought anyone would take me seriously.  Also, I ordered some new glasses so I won't look like a god damn fool when I don't wear my contacts.

Evidently his name is Lightning.  Yeah, he's got a saddle, but I don't think I can ride it...

I've got some great advice posts I'm planning the coming days... weeks...  what the fuck ever.  I'll give you a hint:  it's not at all practical, but I hope it'll be good for a laugh, and it will most definitely make you cooler.  Not quite as cool as a polar bear's toenails, but cool enough to catch that not-so-subtle Outkast reference and give a knowing nod.

Polar bears:  cuddly, majestic, and unfuckwithable.  wait... holy shit, is he eating a whale??

Well, I'm running out of interesting words to type and I want to make sure this actually gets posted before midn-  Wait.  Hold the phone.  It is snowing.  And I have just been informed that this is the first time since records were first established that snow has been recorded and seen in Macon, Georgia on christmas day.  It really is a christmas miracle.  And on that note, it is time for me to take my leave so I may fatten myself up for the winter with plenty of Reese's pieces and cigarettes.

You stay classy, Denmark.


1) "Since I've Been Loving You" - Led Zeppelin
2) "Tombstone Blues" - Bob Dylan
3) "All Hands Against His Own" - the Black Keys
4) "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" - the Rolling Stones
5) "Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out" - Derek and the Dominoes
6) "Cocaine Blues (live at Folsom Prison)" - Johnny Cash
7) "Mistreating Queen" - Radio Moscow
8) "Death Letter Blues" - Son House
9) "Me and Bobby McGee" - Janis Joplin
10) "Catch Hell Blues" - the White Stripes
11) "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" - Huddy "Leadbelly" Ledbetter
12) "Cross Road Blues (take 2)" - Robert Johnson
13) "Hear My Train A Coming (live at the BBC)" - the Jimi Hendrix Experience

Mixtape #5: "Christmas Blues (side A)"

Hello, loyal readers!!  No, I have not forgotten you.  The past... span of time has been rather hectic and the world is ripe and full of upheaval.  I moved, I've been working, and I literally had to wrestle a bear in order to get internet properly connected and established at my new place of residence.  I promise that I have been (not so) hard at work trying to make it up to you for seemingly disappearing and leaving you dangling on a precipice of anxiety.  Man... that's a good phrase.  I better trademark that shit before anyone steals it from me.  Violence will befall you if you steal my phrases from me.  That's not a threat, just sayin' is all.

Anyway, I'll tell you some cool stories about what's been going on (if I feel like it) later.  Right now, I have a super surprise for you.

As you may or may not have realized, the holiday season is upon us.  Personally, it snuck right the fuck up on me.  Which is okay, because I kind of hate loathe christmas music and most christmas movies (Grinch & Christmas Story aside, that is).  It's really the commercialization and all that nonsense more than anything. I mean, I like getting presents and all that, don't get me wrong.  Hell, I even like giving them.  But since I'm not any good at being a secret computer hacker and I can't individually track every single person who's read, visited, or said nice things about my blog, I'm going to just give you all one really awesome blanket present.  Today, loyal reader, I give you the gift of the blues.  Special limited edition double mixtape featuring 26 of my favorite blues traditionals, improvisations, and modernizations from an assortment of artists, thieves, murderers, and other various undesirables.

Now, I wanted to use a pretty loose interpretation of what the blues actually was here, so we've got a seriously awesome mixed bag of goodies.  Every decade from the 20's to the 00's is represented between side A and side B (which you'll have to wait for until tomorrow.  come on now, I can't spoil christmas for you completely...).  80+ years of traditional spirituals, blues folk, slide guitar, and electric church, every ounce of it extra dirty, a little mean, and double-plus good.  And if you don't agree that every one of these songs is 100% blues, feel free to engage me in a fruitless argument in the comments section.

So if you get done singing christmas carols and you've got a snarl on your face, or you wake up tomorrow morning and find a lump of coal in your stocking, then download some of this goodness on your new computer, listen to it on your new ipod, and then go write a song on your new guitar about how much your new christmas sweater blows.  If this shit doesn't wipe away your christmas blues, then I'll give you a 100% money back guarantee.  Just pay the postage and handling.

Run with it.  And you better enjoy it, because there's plenty more where this came from.


1) I Can't Quit You, Baby (live at the BBC) - Led Zeppelin
2) Baby, It's You - Smith
3) In My Time Of Dyin' - Bob Dylan
4) Sweet Home Chicago - Robert Johnson
5) Dying Crapshooter's Blues - Blind Willie McTell
6) Nobody But You - the Black Keys
7) The Weight - the Band
8) Dust My Broom - Elmore James
9) John the Revelator - Son House
10) I Fought Piranhas - the White Stripes
11) Red House - the Jimi Hendrix Experience
12) Staggolee - Mississippi John Hurt
13) The Ballad of Curtis Loew - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Wolves are cooler than tigers.

Hey everybody.  It's nearly 3am, and I've got to get up early tomorrow to move.  Oh joy.  The new place is actually probably less than a mile away from here and definitely much easier to get to and direct folks to, so maybe that's a plus.  Bigger bedroom, bigger bathroom, much more closet space, better view.  Super plus??  Perhaps.  Tiny kitchen.  Yuck.  Speaking of yuck, there is a band called Yuck.  They're actually pretty good, and you can download a lot of their songs for free from their blog.  DIY music at it's finest.  And that's a great band name, is it not??  Really grabs your attention.  Hey, and speaking of band names, you know, there are a lot of bands with animals in their name.  Think about it.  Frog Eyes, Band of Horses, Minus the Bear, Tiger Army, Wolfmother, Wolf Parade, Wolves in the Throne Room...

Hmm... a lot of wolves there.  "Why could that be??" you may find yourself asking.  Well lucky for you, I will tell you.  It is because wolves are awesome.  That's a fact.  Most people seem to be either dog or cat people, and yes, I know that's a gross over-generalization, but it just kind of works out that way.  This can be extrapolated to a much grander and more epic scale.  You're either a wolf person or you're a tiger person.  Unfortunately, in this day and age, both of those animals are pretty much endangered, and that's pretty sad, cause I think they're both inarguably awesome.  However, thanks to the wonders of the National Geographic Channel, I may have been converted fully to the wolf pack.

I just watched what happened to be a totally bitchin' documentary about a wolf.  This wolf has a pretty unfortunate name.  Black Wolf.  Believe it or not, for the wolves living in Yellowstone, that's a hell of a lot more creative than most of their names ever get.  However, living where he did and being a wolf meant Black Wolf was kind of a big deal.  Almost all of these wolves have collars and are tracked and studied exhaustively, and Black Wolf was no exception.  Early in his life, it became clear that he was no ordinary wolf, however, and they started filming his ass a lot.  He lived almost double the life expectancy of other wolves in Yellowstone, fathered almost 30 cubs that survived to adulthood, killed literally hundreds of elk, caribou, and coyotes, and eventually became the alpha wolf of one of the largest packs in the vast park. And for most of his life, he actually lived as an outcast, a lone wolf never completely accepted into a pack.  That's just epic.  I mean, that's the kind of shit Disney might make an animated film about.  It would probably suck and have way less violence and all that, but still, it's not a bad idea (note to self: market this before Disney can).

Look at this badass wolf just lookin' all majestic and awesome and... covered in blood.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but I actually have a velvet painting of a wolf.  Until now, I kept it just because it was kind of interesting and kitsch and was given to me, but all of the sudden, it just feels a little more awesome.

And speaking of awesome, let me show you another awesome thing that I have been made aware of.

What is this.  I don't even.

Boom.  This thing.  What the fuck is that about??  A friend showed this to me joking about how awesome it would be to get one for christmas.  Personally, I laughed aloud.  It's good for a joke, but that's about it. I don't like knit hats and I'm perfectly capable of growing an amazing beard without having to substitute a fake one to keep my face warm.  This almost seems like a cop out.  I am disappointed in you, world.

And speaking of things that disappoint me, let us address the subject of Four Loko.

Last night, I ventured to the gas station to acquire a fresh pack of cigarettes.  Not an uncommon occurrence.  However, on this particular evening, I got to feeling bold.  I wanted a beverage.  So I went to the back and there was the obvious answer, staring right the fuck back at me.  Four Loko.  23.5 fluid ounces of hell.  This is a beverage which has been outlawed in several states.  They're trying to make it so you can't get this shit.  I have literally heard nothing but negative comments about it, it's taste, and the things it does to the human body (unless you count "it'll get you drunk" as a positive comment).  So my wallet $8 lighter, pack of Marlboros and Four Loko in hand, I triumphantly exit.  After all I'd heard about the watermelon flavor, I opted for fruit punch, hoping it would be less offensive to my tongue.

I pop the top and take a nice, long swig, and... I don't see what all the fuss is about.  It's not so bad.  I take another slurp.  Sure, it's not the best thing I've ever had, but I paid all of $2.34 for nearly 3 cups of this stuff.  I mean, I did the math, one can of this stuff is like the equivalent of 6 glasses of wine and 2 red bulls.  Literally.  That is not an exaggeration.  That simply cannot be good for you.  Another couple of sips and suddenly, I'm not feeling it.  I decided the taste could politely be described as "slightly off-tasting, possibly tainted, metallic Hawaiian Punch", but with an after taste of stale turpentine and iron shavings.

You stay classy America.

Seriously though, don't bother.  No, I don't think you're getting it.  Don't drink Four Loko.  Unless, you know, you're really cheap, your taste buds don't work, or you really want to get wasted.  Though I was pleasantly surprised at the buzz I was able to catch from just one can, I wonder if it was really worth my dignity.

Anyway kiddos, it's bed time now.  I've got shit to do tomorrow and I'm not sure how quickly internet will be up and running at the new place.  Plus, I really don't even want to think about how tired and worn out I'm going to be in less than 24 hours time and I might not even want to blog again for a few days.  This might suck a little bit.


EDIT:  I bet that's the first time anyone has ever labeled a post with both Disney and Four Loko...

Mix #4 - "I Ain't No Bunny Rabbit"

Last night, I got the great idea that maybe one of these mixes coming up soon should be some serious blues.  I can't escape it.  Maybe it's the Mississippi in me coming out, but every now and then, I just absolutely have to hear and play some blues.  The dirtier, the better.  I think you fine folks could stand to be educated about the blues.  Maybe I'll get to working on that...

Also, I totally ripped the title of this one from a sample an artist I've recently been turned on to used.  I am, of course, talking about dub-step.  Lesson learned.  Dub-step is not what I thought it was.  It is soooooo much better.  I am officially converted.  This shit is my jam.  75 minutes of non-stop insanity that just goes and goes and goes.  More samples than you can shake a stick at and more funk than you know what to do with.  Lacerated Wax.  "Exit Wounds".  Look it up and learn something about yourself.

Sorry this didn't get uploaded yesterday.  For some reason my site I use to host these wouldn't load yesterday and I couldn't get the music to the middle man in order to get it to you.  Technology failed me.  Without further interruption, here you go.

01 - "When I'm With You" - Best Coast
02 - "You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb" - Spoon
03 - "Wolf Like Me" - TV on the Radio
04 - "Off the Record" - My Morning Jacket
05 - "Dead Disco" - Metric
06 - "Kiss Kiss" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
07 - "California" - Mates of State
08 - "White Knuckles" - Ok Go
09 - "Swimmers" - Broken Social Scene
10 - "Fake Palindromes" - Andrew Bird
11 - "Mistaken for Strangers" - The National
12 - "The General Specific" - Band of Horses
13 - "Ready to Start" - Arcade Fire
14 - "Slow Hands" - Interpol
15 - "There There" - Radiohead

Cowboys are the new Pirates, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Shitty Economy

So I was gonna write a post about movies and how cowboys have replaced pirates as the go-to models for cinema and media, but I decided it just wasn't interesting enough.  So instead, we're gonna get slightly serious.

It's no secret that the economy is suck right now.  I don't know about you folks, but I spent literally months basically completely unemployed, vigorously looking for a job before I found one.  Over the past two years, I've read studies about how unemployment, depression, suicide, and divorce rates have all hit all-time highs, then gone up, up, and up some more.  Some people have been unemployed for over a year and a half at this point, and for the first time in American history, more than half of all marriages are ending in divorce, and adultery is on the rise.

When stressed, we tend to go into a very selfish survival mode.  Psychologically speaking, when people are under this stress, the body produces the hormone cortisol to help better manage it.  However, prolonged exposure to cortisol has an interesting side effect: increased irrational fear and anxiety.  So people are losing their jobs, their places to live, and their relationships are failing because of it all.

So I have a little bit of a theory about how to correct this.  I know we're all broke right now and a lot of us don't have jobs and even more of us are single.  So what??  That doesn't mean we should sit around freaking out all bored, lonely, and depressed.  Flirt.  Go on a picnic in the park.  Split a six pack and watch a dvd together.  A cheap date can still be fun and romantic, and studies have shown that people with healthy sex lives are happier in their day to day.  And let's all be a little more civil to one another too, while we're at it.  You're gonna feel better for doing something nice and they're going to feel better because you weren't a jerk.  Just think of it like it's the zombie apocalypse.  I know you want to think of yourself and put your own needs first, but the only way out of this in one piece is if we all work together.

And if getting laid and having a little companionship doesn't make you feel better, then just got to Cute Overload or something.  If that doesn't put you in a good mood, then you have no soul and you hate fun.

The End.

Mixtape #3 - "Rainy Day Woman"

No one ever accused me of getting everything done on time or staying free from distractions, but the past several days have really dragged me away from here.  So sorry for that.  I'm sure I'm leaving dozens of you hanging on in anticipation, waiting, wondering what's coming next.  Can you detect the note of sarcasm??  Family for the holiday and I just got a new job!!  Say hello the the newest member of the Advance Auto Parts team (in other car-related news, Forza 3 Ultimate pretty much rules).  Aside from that, I'll go on and use the piss poor excuse that I had a post typed up yesterday and then the power went out.  True story.

Anyway, Thanksgiving has come and gone and we are now into the ever-lengthening, ever more commercial holiday season of Christmas.  Truth be told, it makes me sick.  But that's entirely besides the point.  I may just be feeling that because it's been raining all day today.  And yesterday.  And the day before that.  I know the mixtape is a little late, but shit, how about I just agree to try and post one per week rather than every monday??  I don't do well with deadlines.  Fuck it.  You'll probably get one monday.  Let me just say that.  Fresh mixtapes every monday... usually.  Maybe even most of the time.

So I actually ended up making 3 different mixes.  One for me, one for you, and one for someone else.  Of those three, I ended up combining bits and pieces from each to make something different entirely.  I'm sure you'll notice a bit of a theme in most of the songs.  Can you tell what kind of mood I've been in??  If you guessed vaguely sad, nostalgic, and contemplative, you guessed right.  I don't know what it is about a good storm that makes me want to ignore my health, stand in the rain, and slowly enjoy a cigarette as I get lost in thought.  And as we've previously discussed, our music is the soundtrack to our lives, and I found myself thinking about that soundtrack these past few days.  I wanted the songs to say something about the mood I've been in, but be relatively relatable.  Man, those two words have a lot of the same letters...  I promise I'll post again soon.  Probably tomorrow.  I have a few funny stories and observations for you to enjoy, so you've got something to look forward to.


What follows is a collection of songs that are perfect for a rainy fall day.  I hope you like them.

01 - Act of the Apostle - God Help the Girl
02 - For the Price of a Cup of Tea - Belle & Sebastian
03 - Sweet Child o' Mine - Taken By Trees
04 - Tonight - Stars
05 - Capturing Moods - Rilo Kiley
06 - Nineteen - Tegan & Sara
07 - Everything With You - The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
08 - Jen is Bringin' the Drugs - Margot & the Nuclear So-and-So's
09 - One Two Three Four - Feist
10 - Such Great Heights - Iron and Wine
11 - Norway - Beach House
12 - Moths - This Is The Kit
13 - Street Spirit (Fade Out) - Radiohead
14 - I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................

I'm having a weird moment.  My sleep schedule has become all kinds of wacky and my psyche is in grave danger of collapsing in on itself.  This is one of those times where your exhaustion is feverishly battling the mild stimulant you've recently consumed and it's slowly becoming clear that either nicotine or coffee will no longer be potent enough to keep you conscious.  Your thoughts become slow and disorganized.  Your eyes struggle to focus.  You find yourself listening to the same song you've been humming in your head all day and you can only vaguely distinguish if it's actually playing aloud or if you're finally snapped and might be hallucinating.  Yeah, I'm in that kind of state.

There are so many people in this world.  So many different, totally unique individuals in this world each acting and existing entirely independent of one another.  The biggest problem I have with it is that there's no way, no matter how hard I try, that I will ever get to meet all of these potentially interesting people and hear their stories and split some beers with them.  Sometimes I like to collect people.

My good friend Robert, however, attempted to collect some lizards today.  It did not work.  They were far too wily for us.  That's not to say they outsmarted us, just that they faked us out.  Lizards are crafty, man.  You don't know.  Anyway, at some point after that, Tyler and Jessica showed up.  Acoustic guitars, keyboard, and singing saw in the driveway.  That was kinda weird, but it was also pretty cool.  Almost as cool as getting beer and hanging out on top of a parking deck downtown playing Bob Dylan and Best Coast songs in the freezing cold.  That was an adventure.

Wow.  I grossly overestimated my ability to still be awake and/or stay focused on any one thing at a time.  I just quit writing this for like 20 minutes while I posted some shit on craigslist.  Wtf??  Am I really that ADD??  Maybe I should stop staying up so late.  Or maybe I should stop surfing with 8 tabs open.  Either way, I hope this makes up for it.  Sorry if it doesn't.  I'm not perfect, you know.  But I'm still pretty fuckin' good.

An open (love) letter to Jenny Lewis.

When I was in the 11th grade, I was introduced to the love of my life.  I didn't know it at the time, but nothing would ever be the same again.  A lot of my friends were really into this band called Rilo Kiley, whom I had only vaguely heard of.  Some of them were planning to go see them in concert, and one way or another I got invited to come.  So a girl named Kristie burned me a mix of some of their songs and let me borrow a couple of their cds so I could hear what they were all about.  I listened to one of the albums and skipped over half the songs, thinking a lot of it sounded kind of weird, but for some reason I kept listening to it.  I quit skipping the songs I had been skipping over.  Before I knew it, I was listening to the stuff every day.  We ended up missing the concert, but I moved on and kept listening to this band.  When I finally got my hands on the album they were touring to promote, I fell in love with this voice.  Her name was Jenny, and she was flaming red-haired goddess.

Amongst my friends, it is no secret that I have an enormous crush on Ms. Jenny Lewis.  In fact, some consider it one of my more endearing qualities.  I am a heavily tattooed, bearded, grown ass man, but when I hear Rilo Kiley playing, I turn into a 14 year old girl.  I giggle profusely and scream along to the lyrics as the song blasts through the speakers of the car with the windows down and the stereo turned up uncomfortably high.  Let me tell you, I have gotten quite a lot of interesting looks for this.  But something about it makes me simply lot care.  I feel like with a favorite band, it has to be that way, and I'm truly sorry that not everyone has a band that they feel so strongly about.  With Rilo Kiley, it wasn't an instant connection.  It was not love at first listen.  But I love them unashamedly and whole heartedly.  I listen to this band when I'm happy, when I'm down, or when I'm driving.  Nine times out of ten, this is what I'm singing in the shower.  I've learned to play the bulk of their catalog on guitar and bass.  I can recite every lyric from every song.  So here it is, my gift to you, from my itunes library to your internets, my favorite Rilo Kiley bootleg.  Please enjoy.

Rilo Kiley - Live on Austin City Limits 5/5/05

1. Intro

2. Pull Me In Tighter

3. More Adventurous

4. Ripchord

5. The Absence of God

6. Does He Love You

7. I Love LA

Mixtape monday #2 - "ALL DAY"

So I made a great new mixtape for ya'll to download.


Forget that.  Download Girl Talk's new album instead.  The Messiah of Mash-Ups decided to surprise us all and release his latest opus "All Day" out of nowhere today.  Let me just say this:  he delivers.

Download it here from his label, Illegal Art (fo' free).

Here's some album art.

Well, what the fuck are you waiting for??  Download it now and listen to it front to back.

I may have literally gone crazy. Seriously.

So it would seem that my intense job hunt was at least moderately successful.  I had a job interview the other day, the first of two I'll need to have before actually being hired.  Not a big deal, actually a pretty common practice amongst retail jobs, even in the holiday season when they need help as fast as possible (something I will never understand).  I'm also going to use that as an excuse as to why I haven't bothered to make a new blog post in the past few days even though it was 2 days ago and lasted all of... 20 minutes?  No, my precious internet friend, I am not neglecting you, I promise.

Anyway, so there I am walking out of JC Penney (not my ideal job, but I'll take it) already dreaming up ways to spend money I don't have from paychecks I haven't earned from a job I haven't even been hired for.  The irony did not fail me.

I have a desperate need for a bass amp, so that was the first thing to come to mind.  Secondly, I thought about a car.  Then I thought about how well I'm managing without one of my own right now (pretty well, all things considered) and how long it would take to save up for anything better than the random collection of junk I've previously owned (now THERE'S an idea for a future post).  And then, naturally, my mind wandered to even less practical things.

Now there are the obvious ones, like beer, cupcakes, and random thrift store trinkets, and then there's the big stuff.  I immediately got on gamestop's website and started searching for new and exciting ways for me to waste my time in the virtual realm.  Splashed there across the front page staring me in the face was the obvious answer.  A Playstation 3.  Months and months of aggressive marketing by Sony has finally worn me down.  Now, despite my terrible ways with money, I do not make large purchases without thinking, and unless the item in question is food or beer, I rarely make impulse buys.  I knew immediately that a PS3 would mean not getting a new ipod any time soon, and this was not a good thing.  However...  then I saw the second thing.  Gran Turismo 5, a game literally five years in the making.

It's hard to believe that picture comes from a damn game.  I mean, that shit looks like real life.  But I guess if you're a Japanese game programmer and you love cars as much as I do, you get some shit done in five years.  Shortly after realizing this, I decided to say fuck it.  Fuck an ipod.  Forget a car.  I'm going to buy 1,031 cars.  I will justify this to myself by saying it's a perfect compromise.  I love to drive and rarely get to do so anymore, I have a gigantic secret love for racing games, and very little self control.

Alright, I'm done talking about video games.  You can start reading again if that bored the shit out of you.

So one of my friends said something to me the other day about my last post and my stupid words and talking and all that blah blah blah.  We got into a discussion about it and some psychology words got tossed around and it came to my attention that what I was doing is a symptom of something called thought disorder.  So I looked it up, and it turns out I have nearly EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM of thought disorder.  At first, I was distressed by this fact.  Then, I realized that's not so bad.  And then it came to my attention that thought disorder is a major symptom of schizophrenia.  Hmm...  Couple this with my sudden, apparent attention deficit and hyperactivity and I discovered that I may have literally gone crazy.  Let me rephrase that.

I have discovered that I am, in all likelihood, probably an insane person.


I must say, this is equally intriguing and disturbing.  But not all that surprising, I guess.  So to distract myself from that, new topic.  Ruin porn.

See that?  I love this shit.  Abandoned cities, buildings, houses, and anything else that people made and then, for one reason or another, just gave up on and left one day.  Decrepit, crumbling urban decay.  And now it apparently has a name.  Ruin porn.  This pic is from an old theater in Detroit, and if you're jaw doesn't drop upon seeing it, there is something wrong with you.  Or maybe there's something wrong with me.  But you know what, if there is something wrong with me for liking this stuff, then there is something wrong with Hipstercrite as well, and she seems pretty cool, so I don't mind being lumped in with that kind of company.  Also, she has a really cool blog that you should read and/or follow (like mine!! please????), because if you're reading this and you don't hate it, then you'll probably love her, because her blog is waaayyy better.

I remembered all of this and got to thinking about it today because of a series of increasingly weird dreams I had last night.  I won't bore you with the details until I start running of stuff that really happened to talk about, but one of them took place in a setting exactly like that picture.  Suffice it to say, there were zombies.  I have a lot of dreams about zombies.  Sometimes I wonder if this is simply because I think about zombies an awful lot or if I can interpret it in the traditional meaning of what it supposedly says about your psyche when the undead invade your subconscious.  Freud was a total hack and a cocaine addict, but I've always felt like he made a couple of totally undeniable contributions to the field of psychology; one being psychoanalysis, and the other being the interpretation of dreams (bonus points to myself for using a semi-colon).  Supposedly, zombies are meant to represent some unresolved issue or a nagging, recurring thought that will not go away within your subconscious.  Unlike most of my zombie dreams, this one was pretty straightforward and I've got a pretty good idea of what it was about.  Also, I started out the dream with a shotgun and didn't have to run or find a weapon to fend them off with.  That definitely helped.  Fuck, I said I wasn't going to talk about the dream, didn't I?  To make up for it, here's a picture of some zombies.  Also zombie related:  if you aren't watching The Walking Dead, you should be.

That's about all I've got to say right now.  Why does it seem like I only post after 3am??  This is the magic hour.  Anyway, I just realized it's now officially monday.  Know what that means??  Hell yeah, you do, because you're reading this awesome blog and that means you shall be rewarded with a delicious new mixtape later today.  *Hint*  There will probably be some Daft Punk on it somewhere.  *Hint #2*  There will probably be at least one band you have never heard of on it.  Goodnight, internet.

unemployment and other fine points

Being a jobless slacker affords one many opportunities to indulge in the simpler pleasures of life.  "Why Corey, what do you mean by that statement?" you may be asking yourself right now (if you literally asked yourself that out loud, consider seeking psychological assistance.  you may have some sort of disorder).  Well, good sirs and ladies, allow me to elaborate.  Though my desperation to find gainful employment in any sort of job that will not make me hate my life and pays a decent wage has pushed me to apply for every position from "Dog Trainer" to "Flight Attendant" to "Tow Truck Dispatcher", I have still found the time to play bass until my fingers have been shredded beyond recognition, do a considerable amount of writing, and watch some truly epic films.

In addition to surf guitar, loud noises, and videogames, I have a sincere appreciation for foreign films.  And may I just issue a hearty "bravo" to the German film industry.  I just got through watching The Baader Meinhof Complex, and I have to say, it is most definitely among the best films of the past few years.  Period.  End of story.  It's about a Marxist left-wing extremist group that operated at it's peak in West Germany from about 1967-1977 which engaged in a series of increasingly violent acts.  Starts as a bunch of students rioting in response to police brutality and ends up as a bunch of violent revolutionaries trying to free their leaders from prison.  Along the way, they rob 3 banks in 10 minutes in West Berlin, steal some Porsches and race down the autobahn firing Berettas wildly out the windows, living the kind of wild, criminal lifestyle most of us are too afraid to even dream of.  There's also a lot of random nudity (not a bad thing?) and some seriously graphic violence (also not a bad thing).  Most incredibly, everything you see actually happened.  I don't mean for this to turn into a movie review, but this is definitely a film that makes you want to change something about yourself, stop sitting idly by, and do something to change the world.  Anyway, for those of you who are more visually driven, here's the film's poster.

Boom.  Stolen from the internet.  Just like 90% of the pictures and music you will ever find on this blog.  Whoops?  Did I say that??  I meant... umm... legally acquired via an undisclosed source.  Internet piracy is bad.  Actually, I retract that.  In fact, here's a link where you can read about the "internet blacklist" that's being proposed to congress to "protect copyright infringement".  Realistically, it sets up an internet police state like in China.  Do you want the government to block you from viewing whatever sites they feel like just because they think it may or may not infringe on what are, let's face it, incredibly vague copyright laws??  Hell no!  So in that case, here's another link where you can sign the online petition to block this legislation, or at least voice your opinion against it.  And why stop there??  Why don't you email your senator and let him or her (just realized how few female senators we have.  jesus, people.  it's 2010.  let's get with the god damn program) know exactly what you think of the situation.

In a way, that's what the whole movie is about.  No, not internet rights, but lashing out and taking a stand against governmental actions that you don't agree with.  Maybe that's how all extremist groups start out, I guess.  Somebody has a really strong opinion about something and they take their opposition to whatever that may be to a totally different level.  Sure, it's messy, and a lot of innocent people end up getting hurt, but these people have principles, dammit.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  But you know, no one seems to be making that kind of angry music anymore.  Who's the voice of the revolution these days??  It used to be so clear, like when Dylan went electric, or Hendrix and Cash started to sing about the Vietnam war.  Maybe Tyler Durden had it right when he said "We have no great war.  No great depression."  Our generation seems so concerned with self-discovery and masturbating our own egos that I think we've all lost sight of what really matters, like people and causes and being happy with where we're at and what we're doing.

In any case, every time I apply for one of these different jobs, I keep picturing myself doing that and wondering is that something I'm going to be happy doing in the long term.  Maybe that's not the right approach.  Maybe what we should all be doing is focusing on what we can all do to make ourselves just a little bit happier and more fulfilled right this very minute.  Maybe that's terrible advice and it's probably incredibly irresponsible.  Shit, at this point I don't even know if I care.

But I do know that if one of these places doesn't give me a job soon, I might have to resort to being a con artists or a Marxist extremist.  Or maybe something really outrageous...

oh noes! we gots troblems. (picture most definitely related)

For reasons beyond my understanding or control, my brain occasionally fails me.  And I don't just mean in situations where I'm probably drunk or standing far too near a pretty girl (although the things that come out of my mouth on those occasions defy all logic and reason).  Over the years, one recurring way that this seems to happen is when I am trying to speak and think at the same time.  Clearly, these are two incredibly complicated tasks.  It's not that I don't think before I speak, in fact, it's quite the opposite.  Sometimes I think way too much before I speak.  Let me demonstrate with an example of what goes on inside my head versus what my mouth ends up saying during a typical conversation.

Brain:  Oh dear.  This seems to be a problematic situation that this individual is describing to me.  Very troubling indeed.  Hmm... is this trouble or a problem?  Oh god.  She's looking at me like I should be saying something.  Wait, am I supposed to be agreeing or disagreeing?  Fuck.  This shit's way too hard. Oh no, I still haven't said anything.  This is distressing...  Quick!  AGREE!!

What actually comes out:  Buuuuhhh... I, uh, well you gots troblems... ??

I end up being totally incapable of choosing between one of two words, sometimes words that don't sound anything alike or have any kind of similar meaning and before I can decide which to use, the words are already coming out of my mouth and it's too late to not sound like a drunk retard.


Lately though, my brain has been finding new and interesting ways to keep me from succeeding in... well, in pretty much anything.  Case in point:  I am pretty god damn sure I have ADHD of some kind.  Wait, are there even multiple kinds of ADHD??  I don't know.  I am not a scientist.  Please do not judge me.

Anyway, I have got way too much energy.  When the mail comes, I sprint to the road and then jump back like a 5 year old girl who's had a few too many pixie sticks to be able to sit still, even though it's probably just some stupid political fliers and maybe a reader's digest (which is just a filthy, stupid publication, by the way).  Shit, I lost my train of thought.  See what I mean?  I got distracted by a television commercial that had a submarine.  And then for some reason I started thinking about bears.  And then I just HAD to put on my fingerless gloves so I could feel like a hobo when I go outside to smoke my cigarette.  Is it possible for ADD to come on later in life?  I don't know about that.  Someone smarter than me is gonna have to answer that question.

Anyway, I'm tired of talking about this and it's really cold out here.  So I'm gonna finish my menthol.  You just keep doing what you do.

Seacrest.  Out.

Mixtape #1 - "The Lost Art"

I wanted to tell a funny story, but I don't want to use up all of my good material in one post, and I realized I don't want to ruin my first mixtape monday by posting it late...

If music is the soundtrack to our lives, then a good mix should be about crafting the soundtrack to a moment, capturing a mood, or maybe just throwing together some bitchin' driving music for a road trip.  Back in the day, the best quality cassettes only had about 25 minutes of play time per side, so for that reason, I'm gonna try and keep the length of these under an hour.  I've always felt like there's something about restricting yourself in art that makes you rise above and overcome your limitations.  But then again, it all boils down to effectively using someone else's words to make your point... so...... yeah.

This is a tiny sampling of what I'm into right now.  I try to never use the same artist more than once on a single mix and I'll try not to recycle songs too much, but the I can't guarantee that the really good ones that are in heavy rotation won't make return appearances.

So, without further ado, mix numero uno lands here for your listening pleasure.  Click the song titles to download.  If you have issues, try again after midnight.  I don't get unlimited bandwidth.  But that'll be a good problem to have if we ever get to that point.


1 - There's No Secrets This Year - Silversun Pickups
2 - Loud Pipes - Ratatat
3 - Dull Life - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4 - The Way We Get By - Spoon
5 - Matchbook Seeks Maniac - Deerhoof
6 - Postcards From Italy - Beirut
7 - St. Augustine - Band of Horses
8 - Rise Up With Fists!!! - Jenny Lewis w/ the Watson Twins
9 - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - The Postal Service
10 - Sun Was High (So Was I) - Best Coast
11 - Next Girl - The Black Keys
12 - Love Is A Deserter - The Kills
13 - Take Me To The Riot - Stars

Download.  Listen.  Enjoy.  Share.  :D

this show is called squidbillies

Hello everyone.  So you're sitting there at home one day and you think to yourself, "hey, I've got important shit to say.  maybe I should start a blog."  No?  That doesn't happen to you??  Well, it happened to me, and now here we are.

Chances are, you don't know much about me aside from what it says on the right of your screen and things I may or may not have said while drunk somewhere.  Hell, you may know even less than that.  But that's not what's important.  What's important is what's going on, and there's a whole lot of that.  But just in case you were curious, here's a little more about me and mine.  I've got 5 years of college under my belt and no degree.  However, unlike many of my peers, I'm not completely retarded (so at least you're getting a well written blog if nothing else?).  I like psychology, history, zombies, things that go fast, and things that explode.  I also like music, but anyone with a sense of hearing does too, and if they don't...  well, I'm sorry, but who the hell doesn't like music??  Anyway, as to where I'm at and what's going on, imagine the state of Georgia.  Pick a spot exactly in the middle.  That's about where I'm at.  A few years ago, this place was a cultural vacuum with no music scene, downtown was full of crackheads, bums, and empty store fronts.  Slowly but surely though, we're catching up to the rest of the world.

It's a far cry from the sights and the sounds of Atlanta, but regardless, things are happening here.  We've got post-rock, psychedelia, alt-country, rap, and all that other good shit.  We've even got art shows and vintage book store that promotes free live music for all the local kids.  Ain't that special??  But if you're like me and you're looking for what's coming next, I'd bet on the surf sound.

Think about it.  Beach House, Wavves, Best Coast, Surfer Blood... I could go on and on with this, but I don't know if you're interested to read that or not.  If you are, stick around.  Shit's gonna get real.

This isn't a music blog, but it isn't not a music blog either.  Does that make any kind of sense?  Fuck, man, I don't even know.  Mondays are gonna be special though.  Every monday, I'm gonna make a new mixtape and share it with the world.  Mixtape Mondays!  That's what we're gonna call it, for better or worse.  It may be that that's all the music we squeak out of this thing, but who gives a damn, we're going to have some fun with it.  Yeah, I know it's monday right now, but it's also like 3am and my external hard drive is all the way on the other side of the the room.  I can't reach that far.  Cut me some slack, I'll do it in the afternoon when I get around to waking up.

Anyway, this wasn't really all that funny or interesting, or brief for that matter.  But it was informative.  I apologize in advance if I get drunk and post pictures of cats or cartoon bears.  Gonna try real hard to not do that.  If you're offended by my language, sorry, this probably isn't something you're gonna want to read. I type like I talk and I talk like a sailor.  I will not censor myself or anyone else.  If you like my blog, awesome.  I hope you keep reading it.  Maybe you'll even subscribe to it.  I'll try to not let the fame or notoriety go to my head.  If you don't, well... well I guess that's alright too.

In conclusion, I'll be your host, Comrade Corey.  And hey man, this shit is my jam (turn it up).  What follows will be the adventures, sights, sounds, and goings on of me and my compatriots as we struggle to get by here in middle Georgia.



PS - sorry if you were misled by the title of this post to think it had anything to do with the show squidbillies.  for putting up with it...  look at this thing I found?