Hey guess what. No really, guess.

pirate juice

You may be wondering to yourself, "hey, what's that picture all about?  is that some pirate juice?"  And if that's actually what you thought, then yeah, you're absolutely right.  No, actually that was sarcastic.  It's poison.  You want antidote?  I got the poison.  So, gratuitous and unnecessary Hives references aside, I actually had some reason for posting that there.  I can't for the life of me remember it now.

For what it's worth, I got myself a new ipod today.  It's manly as fuck.  And purple.  How is a purple ipod manly?  Well, are you secure enough in your masculinity to have a purple ipod??  No.  I thought not.  That last line is sexist, insensitive, and presumes that you are a male.  In all likelihood, you may not be.  I apologize for that.  Well, if you're a lady you probably think it's cool.  Even if you don't think it's cool, it is.  It's a nano, the only ipod model I've yet to own, and I have to say, so far it's my favorite.  It's just so... precious, for lack of a better word.  I mean, the damn thing is teensy weensy.  I wasn't really expecting that for some reason.  I love it, though.  I'm hoping it'll motivate me to listen to more music, which will in turn motivate me to explore and discover more music which I can share with you.  And frankly, if that's not a happy thought and doesn't strike you positively, you can go drink a whole bottle of pirate juice.

Okay, back to the main point.  Seriously, guess what.  Okay man, you suck at this game.  So I'm finally going to a concert tomorrow.  First real one in...  shit, man.  I don't even want to think about how long.  So who do you think is playing?  Need a hint??

mmmmmmmmmustang............

Got it yet??  Need another hint?

this album cover still doesn't make much sense to me

It's Best Coast.  Did you get it yet?  If you didn't, then... well...  umm...  I don't have anything nice to say, so I better not say anything.  Anyway, they're playing with these guys...

what band do you think this is?  hint: it's Wavves

So needless to say I'm pretty stoked.  There'll be a little of this:

is it possible to look more apathetic while playing guitar?

And some of this...

and on the 7th day, hipster Jesus created Pabst

And a whole lot of this...

Fuckk yesss...

At this place...

the (in)famous 40 Watt Club, Athens, GA

And at some point you'll probably want one of these...

because nothing goes with loud guitars and overpriced beer quite like polish sausage soaked in bbq sauce.

And if that don't bring a smile to your face, then you have a heart of stone.  If I can make myself remember to, I'll try and take some pictures.  Hopefully they won't come out all blurry and shitty.  I'll also try and remember to not drink too many beers so I can describe everything in painstaking detail.  So at some point in the near future I'll let you know how it was so you can be jealous and kill yourself because your life will never be as awesome as mine and simply can't go on living with that knowledge anymore.  I don't really want that to happen, because if you killed yourself, then you couldn't read my blog anymore.  Unless ghosts can get internet access??  I don't know, man.  That's a different argument entirely.

On a 100% unrelated matter, it was recently confirmed to me that my spirit animal is, in fact, the crow.

crows are pretty badass.

How do I know this?  It's irrelevant.  But for some reason it just feels right.  I don't actually sincerely believe in this kind of thing, but if I did, I would be happy.  Well, I'm happy either way.  Crows are kind of cool.  But are they cooler than wolves?

yeah, so wolves are still cooler

No.  But I bet a wolf would respect a crow.


And that's fucking saying something, man.














ps- how fucking awesome is that picture of Hipster Jesus??

Regular ordinary Swedish day off.

picture related:  these are normal fish in Sweden

Ugh.  How do I describe this?

Every now and then I get into what I refer to as a "weird mood", which basically means I spontaneously become pensive, withdrawn, quiet, and contemplative for no apparent reason.  It can't be helped.  And as far as I can tell, it can't be stopped either.  It kinda feels like...  this.

(insert gratuitous picture of a cat)

I had the whole day off for a change, woke up before 10 and couldn't even motivate myself to play video games.  I kinda just sat around watching youtube videos and eating candy.  Played with some compressed air, played guitar, finalized a mixtape (coming within the next few days when I'm not also trying to download 30 movies and killing my bandwidth).  So basically an almost totally impractical day.  Congratulations all around!

Anyway, I guess where I was going with this was this.  You know how when you're in a bad mood and you listen to a certain song, and all of the sudden you get caught up singing along and before you even realize it, you're just having a great day out of nowhere?  I wonder if the inverse of that can be true.  I mean, if I had to sit through an entire Toby Keith song or something, it might bug the shit out of me, but it wouldn't exactly ruin my day.  And if you don't know who Toby Keith is, consider yourself lucky.  I guess maybe that's not exactly what I meant.  It's like this...  I tend to connect songs to memories, thoughts, or ideas.  On one hand, this can be great.  Suddenly you hear a song and you remember something or someone you haven't thought of in ages and you get to feeling nostalgic and blah blah blah.  But on the other hand, it can ruin a song for you too.  So I'm driving to the grocery store earlier and singing along to Tegan & Sara (not at all ashamed of that) and then Broken Social Scene comes on.  Happy band (for the most part) and an uptempo song.  All of the sudden, I start zoning out and getting totally lost in thought.  Smile is gone and I can't figure out what happened.

this is what they eat for dinner in Sweden.

Anyway, so some of these internet videos I was watching are Swedish.  Hilarious shit, actually.  Lunch time rolls around and I'm eating my taquitos and watching Anthony Bourdain (who is a baller).  Guess where he is?  No, not Sweden.  It was Quebec.  But soon, that episode ended and do you know where he went in the next one?  Motherfucking Sweden.  What the hell, man?

If I were still in Atlanta, perhaps I would have gone to Ikea today to waste time.  That would have been yet another Swedish thing.  Anyway, I interpreted as a sign.  Of what?  I don't know.  Probably the apocalypse.

these young women like Sweden and think you should too.

Anyway, I'm not in such a weird mood anymore.  Maybe listening to weird music cures it?  Or maybe it's copious amounts of cigarettes.  Who even knows anymore.

What was I talking about again??

Fuck it.  Don't worry, the next post won't be Sweden themed.  Maybe a mixtape.  Maybe another picture story.  I want to keep you kids on your toes.

The fly in the ointment.

So remember that amp I was telling you about??  Here it is.

Mmmmmmmm..........

It needs a little work, but then, you wouldn't expect a 35-40 year old amp to be cherry.  125w of vintage, obnoxiously loud American power with 4 channels, spring reverb, and built in footswitchable vibrato.  I'll probably spend $30 just to make it look and sound a little better, but even still I got it for cheaper than you'd ever believe.  And I can't wait to hear what it's going to sound like connected to this...

Thunder.

...with the red coily cord (as Jack Black, aka, gearmandude might say).  And what will there be to compliment it, might you wonder??  Why, dear friend, just envision, if you will, this thing right here...

Lust.

...and what you get is a sonic explosion that frankly, words alone fall short on being able to describe.  This part of the blog is called "shameless self promotion".  We haven't recorded a single song yet, but the sound is finally coming together and we're firing on all cylinders.  Ultimately, it's noise that sounds kind of like this looks.

This one's too close to call...

But it makes you feel like this.

Simpler times.

But of course, you know, the whole endgame, the ultimate goal of the operation is to somehow seduce this woman.  (do not judge me)

That's Jenny Lewis again, if you hadn't noticed.

Can you tell I decided that my picture driven blog posts are better?  Hmm...  what if I combined pictures and sounds together??  Too much??  Anyway, I still haven't finished the angry music mixtape I'm working on.  I keep getting distracted by alcohol, video games, work, and pretty girls.  Can you honestly blame me?  I have learned that both Mastodon and the Kills are making new albums.  At least one of them is going to be good amazing.  Both of them will have awesome album covers.  I can almost guarantee this fact above all others.  I better finish this mixtape soon because I'm almost in too good of a mood to concentrate on angry music.  I'm seeing Best Coast and Wavves in about two weeks at the 40 Watt in Athens.  I've already got 3 days off work for the event.  Can you tell I'm fucking stoked??


If you aren't already jealous, you should be.  And you're clearly not subscribing to this blog yet.  Why not?  This shit is gold.  I love you guys.  You're alright.  No, I'm not drunk.

1000 internets to you if you get this Minus the Bear reference.

When you want me, you got me where you want me again.


Until next time, tiger.

Candy and video games, knife fights and fuzz.

Okay, I know I may have promised a mix in my last post, but I was pretty significantly drunk, so cut me some slack.  It's on the way and I want to make sure it's awesome, so I'm still in the process of acquiring new music to add to it.  My internet is going in and out even though I'm literally sitting 2 feet away from the router.  Do not judge me, for I am filled with angst.

As of this writing, I am knee deep in a period where I will be working 9 out of 10 days.  Kind of sucks, but it will be (mostly) worth it when I get my next pay check.  Let me just put it this way...  Three words:  new bass amp.  Get excited.  I'm excited.  Are you excited?  No??  Well, then why the fuck not??  I'm going to make some incredibly loud noise.  Okay, so maybe that was misleading.  It's not a new bass amp, just new to me.  In fact, it's older than I am, but similar in age to my beloved 4-stringer.  In addition to this delicious 150 watt box of boom, I've decided that what I really need is a truly chaotic bass fuzz pedal.  I've narrowed it down to one of about 4 or 5, all from the same manufacturer.  Portland's "Queen of Fuzz", Devi Ever.  That's her name, and loud angry guitar sounds are her game.  She's engineered probably 40 totally unique fuzz / overdrive pedals, each with their own individual characteristics and eccentricities.  Some of the talent using her pedals includes but is not limited to:  Sonic Youth, My Bloody Valentine, the Smashing Pumpkins, the Hives, Silversun Pickups, Nels Cline, MGMT, etc...

This is Devi.  Buy her shit so she can afford to make more pedals and do music and stuff.  Why?  Because only fuzz can save us and the world needs more great analog music gear.

You just about can't go wrong with any of her pedals, but the ones in contention to be my next effector are:

THE RUINER
THE HYPERION
THE WOLF
THE WAR HORSE
and though it's been discontinued...
THE SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE

The ruiner is what originally tempted me, but it's close between the Black Hole and Hyperion at this point.  All the pedal names link to youtube or her site, each with video demos.  Any one of them will mangle, stab, and harm your eardrums beyond belief, but in a good way.  What do you think?  Any thoughts??

On a different topic altogether, we are nearing the apocalypse every day.  I had a number of conversations regarding this exact topic over the past few days.  One source I interviewed referred to the recent fish and bird deaths, claiming there was something in the Mayan 2012 shit about fish would randomly die.  I could not be bothered to check her sources, but it was interesting none the less.  I had an intense, alcohol-induced zombie dream yesterday that can only be described as prophetic, leading me to believe that we are, in fact, living in the end times.  If nothing else, it served as the proper motivation needed to get me back into writing and revising my zombie movie script.  More on that later, perhaps.  Meanwhile, here in Georgia and the real world, the locals lose their shit if there's even a hint of inclement weather.  The forecasts call for snow and a "wintry mix" overnight, with a freeze warning in the morning.  Now, I've been outside multiple times for a smoke today and I will verify that it is cold, even cold enough for some puddles to have a thin film of ice on top, but not a single snowflake has fallen and I haven't even seen the first raindrop.  And yet they have already cancelled all school in the area and relieved military personnel at the nearby Robins Air Force base of duties tomorrow.  WTF?  And meanwhile I gotta be there at 8am to change wiper blades and sell batteries.  Oh joy.

Genius?

Fresh as hell.

In closing, I just want to let you know a few things I have learned over the past few days:  DSL sucks, buy cable internet.  Weezy has got it all figured out; eat candy for dinner and play video games all day, rap about it, and make millions of dollars.  Skateboard shoes are more comfortable than regular ones.  And Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys still looks a little bit like Viggo Mortenson.

Case in point:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

new contents

well.  I am rather quite drunk and maybe pretty much totally exhausted right now, but I can guaran-damn-tee you something new will happen tomorrow after I get of work.  today.  it is today.  in like 5 hours I have to be at work (oh man, that is gonna suck).

but you might even get a mixrap.  mixtape.  playlist.  in fact, you probably will.  I will go so far as to say yes, but i am no promising anyhting.  alright now, I''m gonna et to do some sleep.  in the mean time, here is this for you to olook qt.

we both knew this would happen soon er or later.

This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum.

Hello, readers.  I am communicating with you across time and space from the year 2011.  By the time you read this though, you will likely have joined me.  Unless I have readers on the west coast or in Hawai'i who are exceptionally timely and follow my spirited writings religiously.  Sorry if that didn't really make any sense.  I am somewhat sleep deprived, mildly exhausted, and took a large dose of cold medicine and nicotine mere moments ago.  So needless to say, we are going on a deep journey into the weirdness.

Many of you no doubt spent the evening drinking into oblivion, at a concert, of out with friends, full of optimism and excitement for the new year.  To those folks, I applaud you.  Personally, I spent the day shopping, watching football (that's American football to those of you joining us from abroad.  my beloved Chelsea FC is not performing to my expectations this season...), and doing other manly shit.  I know shopping isn't manly, but let's just try and look past that for now, okay??  Seriously, people, you're breaking my balls.  2011 was greeted in my neighborhood by a chorus of illegal fireworks, horns, and assorted small arms fire.  God bless The South (I capitalize it because it is so much more than just a region, yet simultaneously "only a home".  50 points to whoever catches that reference.).  2010 was a strange year for me, full of ups and downs.  It started off well enough, had some shaky bits in the middle, and eventually leveled out into some serious contentment.

Unlike last year, at midnight I was not at a concert, was not with friends, was not drunk, and didn't kiss anybody.  And yet, it was still pleasant.  I decided to pop my favorite movie into the dvd player, lay down, and just chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllll...  I could bore you with pretentious rants about things I decided about contemporary pop music and television from watching the new year's festivities, and I could tell you about how awesome The Royal Tenenbaums is, even after watching it for like the bajillionth time, but I won't.  I'm starting to feel way too mellow and relaxed for that.  Maybe that's just the nyquil talking.

With a cast like that, how could a movie not be perfect??  Seriously.

I've got some good shit coming up in 2011.  I plan on getting good and drunk tomorrow after I get off work (part of why I didn't do much tonight), and perhaps in the midst of that I'll clue you in on what's coming up.  Tips on how to be a bad kid.  Cool music to look forward to.  How to buy your first electric guitar from a pawn shop / craigslist / ebay and make sure it doesn't suck.  Things like that.  There's probably a lot more, but I can't remember.  That means I forgot better shit than you ever thought of.  Sorry for that, Kanye West briefly took hold of me and it could not be helped.

Hotel robe got me feelin' like a sheik.

Wait, what was I talking about??  Shit, dude, I don't even remember.  I don't think that's a great sign.

In 2011, like most people, I have a lot of resolutions.  I want to be more responsible, spend less time putting up with crap and more time doing the things that make me happy, hang out with the people who matter more, be better with money, and finally turn this fledgling music project into something respectable that's getting paid and playing out live.  Speaking of which, we had this baller jam session in a parking deck last night.  The ambience was a-may-zing and the natural reverb was supernatural.  Thundering bass that just goes for miles and miles into the night.

Alright, I'm getting way too tired to keep this up.  Store brand nyquil is still potent.  I promise my next blog post will be more interesting and less informative.  I might throw another picture into this one to trick you into reading it.

If this does not get your attention, then nothing will.

Well then, that about sums it up.  I think.  I'm not even sure this post makes any sense, and I'm pretty sure it will be easy to tell where I kind of quit writing in the course of it and got distracted by pringles and a movie.  It's not rocket surgery, people.

Keep doing what you do.  I'm gonna throw on some classic hip hop at some point.  Dance, motherfucker, dance.