Drunk bloggin' on V-day

me & my lady.

Hey ya'll.  It's Paula Corey.  (I'm just tipsy enough to tell that joke and laugh at it, hoping you'll get it.  but if you're not from Georgia, or don't know anything about Paula Dean, you won't)

So valentine's day.  It's a bullshit holiday.  I'm willing to argue about that if need be.  It's always a bad day if you're single, unless you're empowered or in a good mood or find out you have a secret crush or some bullshit like that.  Fact is, though, I had a really shitty day.  Maybe I'll tell you about it later, but I'm not feeling up to typing it all out right now.

All kinds of shit that could go wrong did.  I had to work early and got off late.  Didn't have anyone to hang out with.  Had to eat my dinner re-heated.  Single.  Etc.  And then to top it off, Kroger didn't have any PBR pint cans.  What the fuck.  How do you run a grocery store beer aisle and not have any Pabst tallboys?  Hipsters unite in rebellion!

So I settled for the High life.  6 cans started, 2 and a half down.  My alcohol tolerance?  Also down.

My theory is that it has a pretty lady on the can, so she can be my valentine.  One thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that these chewy peach flavored gummies I've got go with it incredibly well.  This shit is good.  Anyway, it's midnight right now.  The end of a long day's journey into night.  I'll keep providing updates as the evening progresses and as I continue to imbibe some booze.

Oh yeah, and I also made the best drunk impulse buy ever the other day.  $8 to renew my Netflix subscription?  Hell yes, please.  Fire up the gritty foreign films, the crime dramas, and the political documentaries.  I'm eatin' this shit up.  I especially love the intense, super in-depth questionnaire about your movie taste preferences.  Just in case you have a special fondness for Swedish language car chase movies or muppet buddy cop dramedies.  No kidding.  I'll be back in a few.  Probably with more grammatical mistakes and spelling errors.  And pictures of cats?  You bet your ass.

UPDATE: 1:22am


So make it 4 tallboys now.  That's 64 fluid ounces of cheap domestic beer.  Feelin' pretty good by now, and still surprisingly able to type coherently.  I've started my second documentary of the evening, a feel-good piece by the good folks at National Geographic about military contractors in Iraq.  Blackwater and that type of stuff.  It's actually pretty badass.  The one I just finished was about a vicious political campaign for mayor in Newark, NJ.

all of the reviews on this are dead on.  6 stars out of 5, from me

This is it.  Pictured to the left right.  Sorry.  I mixed myself up by trying to format everything in a fancy way.  And by fancy I mean switching sides on you.  Boom, boom!  It's like that.  It's over here,then it's over there.  You get it?  You got it.  Good.

Oh dang, man.  SOmebody just got shot on tv.  See?  I told you this whole netflix thing was a great idea.

Speaking of military contractors and the military, (and thusly, the navy, because it's part of the military) did I tell you I joined the Navy?  Because I did.  That happened a few weeks ago.  It'll be a while before I go anywhere, though.  September, to be exact.  Don't worry, I'll keep it happening until then.  It's just that there will be a period of 8 weeks in the future where there will be abosolutely no blog posts.  None.  Nada.  I'll be in boot camp.  It can't be avoided.  But it's okay, because I'll have a cool job that's guaranteed so long as everything stays on the up and up and I'll get to go to law school for free when all is said and done.  And did I mention the travel?  Fuck yes, the travel.  I'm gonna see the world.  All from the deck of a really big boat.  Maybe one like this.

you'll never sink my battleship

Is it just me, or is that epic looking?  Okay, so I probably won't be on a battleship, but it's nice to know that if a war breaks out, I've got something like that covering me.

Just so you know, I'm not a right wing nutjob, crazy person, or anything like that.  As a matter of fact, I'm a registered Democrat.  A bleeding heart liberal who believes in gun control and protests unjust wars.  Just a guy who ran out of money for college, has a lust to travel, and a desire to do something meaningful.  You can be in the military and still be a hipster, right?  I'm struggling with that a little bit.  That whole nervous and excited at the same time kind of feeling.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there.  Maybe I'll write more about that sometime when I'm sober as the date draws nearer.  Unless you comment and ask about it.  You folks are suspisciously quiet...

Time for more netflix.  Or video games.  And beer.  This can is empty and my valentine is downstairs in the fridge, rather lonely.  Don't worry, I'll be back.  I've got to squeeze at least one more update out of this. Maybe two.


UPDATE:  2:48am
Five beers gone, and everything is gravy.  I'm disappointed I can still form coherent thoughts in my head even.  that's the same as drinking two 40oz. bottles of beer.  Were you aware of that??  I mean, my brain can barely comprehend it.  Only diffrence I can rightly tell between this state of being and any other is that I'm pretty okay with everything.  Easy going as shit right now, man.  My documentaries are over and so are 5 and a bit of my 6 beers.  That phrasing reminds me.  (see?  I notice the jumps my mind makes are even more randome and disconnected in this drunken state)

England.  It's a pretty fucking great place.  I might even go so far as to say that the UK is the second best country in the world.  Wait, is the United Kingdom a country?  or are England, Scotland, and Wales all separate entities??  Well, I mean I know they're separate, but how separate?  That's beside the point.

England is pretty awesome.  Or the UK.  Maybe both?  I mean, they have a royal family, but they have no authority.  A symbolic monarchy?  It's just poetic and beautiful in a very strange way.  And speaking of poetic and beautiful, those lot have got quite a history with words.  Invented the English language, don't you know.  Shakespeare.  The Beatles.  The BBC.  The same nation that produced Bowie and Led Zeppelin.  Plus, soccer.  Football, as they call it.  And they've got my favorite show (Top Gear) on the tele.  ANd colossally awesome accents.  Sure, they've got bad teeth, but so do I.  Who gives a shit?  What a rich culture!  If they had baseball in England, it'd be a nearly perfect nation.  Instead theyv'e got cricket.  What the fuck is cricket?  I don't even know, man.

It's time to smoke a cigarette.  I love cigaretes.  Nicotine is pretty awesome too.  But you know what?  You can buy half packs of cigarettes in England.  A pack with only 10 cigarettes in it.  That's just god damn adorable.  Later.  Much.


UPDAETE: 3:57am

not to be disappointed, hre is a picture of a cat

So all of my beer is gone.  that's 96 ounces.  That's quite a lot of beer.  I'm going tobrush my teeth, drink some milk, and eat some chocolates.  Fuckain valentine's day is quite over.  Another cute picture?

is this or is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen?

That is all.  I don't know what i was going to be talkinb about, but the time has come bor baed.  I'm not even going goin to bother correcting those typos.  I figure you deserve to see it as it is for a bit.  Bed time, kiddos.

Good night and good luck.

;)