Hello, there! It's me again. (delicious cake)

It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood, is it not?  Seriously.  I have a car again (long story), and it has kept me from blogging for a good minute now.  But I'm back and we're rolling deep once again.  I am currently drinking high life. not a beer I went out of the way to get, but at $1.19 per pint at the gas station, it was ultimately an impulse buy.

Alright, so if you're like me and you're as cool as I think you are, you're going to love this. I had this Rilo Kiley song stuck in my head all day at work today and I it was irritating the shit out of me because it's one of the few I don't remember very well, and I kept searching through all their songs because I couldn't remember what the name of it was. So then, I finally found it and I got unnaturally excited.  Now I'm here and have decided to share it with you.  Why?  Because I've already shown this to everyone else already.  This is what all the fuss was about -> Rilo Kiley - "85", and then, tumbling down the rabbit hole, I found this -> Rilo Kiley - "Aeroplane Over the Sea" (Neutral Milk Hotel cover) and, ultimately, to find this awesome blog that I'm now following and you should too.

I know the past several blog posts have been insanely visually driven.  This colossally epic one right here comes to mind as just one of many examples.  And if that's your thing, then you're in luck because as always, I'm working on about 40 different things all at once right here.  Some of them are closer to being done than others, but it's all gravy train fuentes from here.  Honest to mindtooth.  Do you know what that means?  Neither do I.

Maybe I can find out this weekend when I venture into Riggonia for Spring Cronsteegs to hang out with Charney.

And just so I don't disappoint you, here you go.

I bet your mouth is watering right now.

Salt water taffy.

◕ ◡ ◕ (untranslatable)

Hello, loyal minions readers.  Are you doing great today?  If you aren't, that's your own fault.  Sorry, I'm listening to Mastodon.

BEAST MODE.

No, not that Mastodon!  THIS Mastodon...

I met these guys once.  Well... half of them, anyway.

The awesome metal band from Atlanta.  I'm sorry, let me amend that...  Mastodon, the greatest metal band on the planet, responsible for the aptly titled Leviathan.  The Mastodon that always produces epic album covers.  Let me refresh your memory (or enlighten you) as to what I'm talking about.  Have you ever seen the full artwork that the cover of Leviathan is taken from?

An epic of epic epicness.

Behold.  Avert your eyes if it is too much for you to handle.

So anyway, Andy informs me that they're gonna release a new album this year, which is always good news, cause if it's 80% as good as any of their other albums, it's already better than every other metal album out there, probably.  Except High On Fire maybe.  They're also pretty good.

Anyway, I'm getting aside from the point I was originally seeking to make.  I've gotten some new music since the last entry.  I hope you have too.  Mogwai released a new album?  Why is there a question mark there?  That's a fact, not an interrogative.  Mogwai released a new album.

No, not that mogwai.

"fuck you, PETA!"

There you go.  That's the right Mogwai.  Anyway, they released a new album.  I hate to say it, but it's exactly what you can expect from Mogwai at this point.  Ever since they started writing songs where they seem to forget to turn on their distortion pedals it's like they've lost their edge.  Don't get me wrong, it's still a good album, and if you like melodic post-rock, you'll love it.  I'm in love with the album title (Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will).  Is that or is that not a great album title?  Unfortunately, just like their last album, all the songs with the best names are the most forgettable tunes.  It just never matches up to their classics.  Young Team and Mr. Beast seem like ages ago.  At the very least, they're going to tour to promote it and come through Atlanta.  Maybe they'll play a lot of old songs?  Or maybe the album will grow on me.  I only gave it one listen so far.  Anyway, this is what it looks like.

Pitchfork gave it a 6.6.  That sounds about right.

Pick it up at a record store if it interests you.  Or steal it on the internet.  Your choice.

In much more noteworthy news about music coming out, Radiohead decided out of fucking nowhere to release another album.  What's up with that?  Most people hype the shit out of their albums for months before you can ever actually hear it or get your hands on it.  I think they're actually doing us a favor, to be honest.  It always seems to take for fucking ever for a new Radiohead album to come out when you're waiting on it and by the time it does, the anticipation has nearly destroyed you.  Your hands are shaking and you're biting at the plastic trying to tear it open as quick as you can and it just can't happen fast enough.  By casually letting it slip on a monday that the album is coming out the following saturday Thom Yorke is saving lives.  I figured they were close to releasing one, but had no idea it was already ready.  It's like boom.  Surprise!  This is what it looks like (even though you probably already know).

I'm digging it.

That one's also exactly what you expected it to be.  Amazing.  Enough said.  Go pre-order the fancy box that they're gonna sell it with and download the digital copy.  Do it.  Fucking do it already.

In even MORE music news (I should update this way more often so I don't overwhelm myself), the Flaming Lips do not have a new album.  I'm sorry if I got your hopes up there.  However, they are coming to Atlanta again in May.

a Flaming Lips concert is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off or breaking the law.

I'm VERY FUCKING EXCITED to get to see them again.  Last time it was amazing and that was just a regular show.  This time, they'll be playing The Soft Bulletin in it's entirety!  I know that's kind of a kitschy thing for a band to do and as far as concert fads go, that's something that was getting done a lot more 2 years ago than it is now.  But you know what?  I don't give a shit, cause that's the kind of thing that haters who aren't gonna see the Flaming Lips say.  Boom.  I went there, bitches.  And if they are, in fact, coming anywhere near you, go.  I implore you to go.  Even if you don't really like them that much (what the fuck is wrong with you?) then you should still go.  Even if you hate fun (seriously, are you retarded?), then you should still go.  You will enjoy it.

So what else is happening?  Some guy emailed me and offered to trade me this...

win?

...for my amplifier.  Everyone seems to tell me it's a good deal.  And what can I say?  For the price I paid for the amp, it's definitely a return on my investment.  And can an amplifier save your live when the zombies come?  No.  Not unless you drop it on their head from above.  And let's face it, a solid 12 gauge shot to the head is much simpler and more effective.

poor suckers don't stand a chance

Speaking of zombies (which haven't happened yet), do you know what else is going on in the world?  I mean, that doesn't have anything to do with music?

Revolution.

a dude crowd-surfing in an epic mosh pit at the Egyptian protests

Okay, so in the right context, that does have a lot to do with music, but just not right now.  Even though as I typed that, I started hearing the Beatles song play in my head.  Well, as it turns out, Egypt says yes, they do want a revolution.  And so does Libya.  And Syria.  And, well, basically all of the Middle East and North Africa.  I mean, between all that and everything else going on, one has to think it's pretty biblically fucked up right now.  I mean, like... end times fucked up.  Like, I will not be surprised if it turns out that zombies happen soon.  But in the mean time, enjoy some freedom everybody.  And try not to get shot.

Drunk bloggin' on V-day

me & my lady.

Hey ya'll.  It's Paula Corey.  (I'm just tipsy enough to tell that joke and laugh at it, hoping you'll get it.  but if you're not from Georgia, or don't know anything about Paula Dean, you won't)

So valentine's day.  It's a bullshit holiday.  I'm willing to argue about that if need be.  It's always a bad day if you're single, unless you're empowered or in a good mood or find out you have a secret crush or some bullshit like that.  Fact is, though, I had a really shitty day.  Maybe I'll tell you about it later, but I'm not feeling up to typing it all out right now.

All kinds of shit that could go wrong did.  I had to work early and got off late.  Didn't have anyone to hang out with.  Had to eat my dinner re-heated.  Single.  Etc.  And then to top it off, Kroger didn't have any PBR pint cans.  What the fuck.  How do you run a grocery store beer aisle and not have any Pabst tallboys?  Hipsters unite in rebellion!

So I settled for the High life.  6 cans started, 2 and a half down.  My alcohol tolerance?  Also down.

My theory is that it has a pretty lady on the can, so she can be my valentine.  One thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that these chewy peach flavored gummies I've got go with it incredibly well.  This shit is good.  Anyway, it's midnight right now.  The end of a long day's journey into night.  I'll keep providing updates as the evening progresses and as I continue to imbibe some booze.

Oh yeah, and I also made the best drunk impulse buy ever the other day.  $8 to renew my Netflix subscription?  Hell yes, please.  Fire up the gritty foreign films, the crime dramas, and the political documentaries.  I'm eatin' this shit up.  I especially love the intense, super in-depth questionnaire about your movie taste preferences.  Just in case you have a special fondness for Swedish language car chase movies or muppet buddy cop dramedies.  No kidding.  I'll be back in a few.  Probably with more grammatical mistakes and spelling errors.  And pictures of cats?  You bet your ass.

UPDATE: 1:22am


So make it 4 tallboys now.  That's 64 fluid ounces of cheap domestic beer.  Feelin' pretty good by now, and still surprisingly able to type coherently.  I've started my second documentary of the evening, a feel-good piece by the good folks at National Geographic about military contractors in Iraq.  Blackwater and that type of stuff.  It's actually pretty badass.  The one I just finished was about a vicious political campaign for mayor in Newark, NJ.

all of the reviews on this are dead on.  6 stars out of 5, from me

This is it.  Pictured to the left right.  Sorry.  I mixed myself up by trying to format everything in a fancy way.  And by fancy I mean switching sides on you.  Boom, boom!  It's like that.  It's over here,then it's over there.  You get it?  You got it.  Good.

Oh dang, man.  SOmebody just got shot on tv.  See?  I told you this whole netflix thing was a great idea.

Speaking of military contractors and the military, (and thusly, the navy, because it's part of the military) did I tell you I joined the Navy?  Because I did.  That happened a few weeks ago.  It'll be a while before I go anywhere, though.  September, to be exact.  Don't worry, I'll keep it happening until then.  It's just that there will be a period of 8 weeks in the future where there will be abosolutely no blog posts.  None.  Nada.  I'll be in boot camp.  It can't be avoided.  But it's okay, because I'll have a cool job that's guaranteed so long as everything stays on the up and up and I'll get to go to law school for free when all is said and done.  And did I mention the travel?  Fuck yes, the travel.  I'm gonna see the world.  All from the deck of a really big boat.  Maybe one like this.

you'll never sink my battleship

Is it just me, or is that epic looking?  Okay, so I probably won't be on a battleship, but it's nice to know that if a war breaks out, I've got something like that covering me.

Just so you know, I'm not a right wing nutjob, crazy person, or anything like that.  As a matter of fact, I'm a registered Democrat.  A bleeding heart liberal who believes in gun control and protests unjust wars.  Just a guy who ran out of money for college, has a lust to travel, and a desire to do something meaningful.  You can be in the military and still be a hipster, right?  I'm struggling with that a little bit.  That whole nervous and excited at the same time kind of feeling.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there.  Maybe I'll write more about that sometime when I'm sober as the date draws nearer.  Unless you comment and ask about it.  You folks are suspisciously quiet...

Time for more netflix.  Or video games.  And beer.  This can is empty and my valentine is downstairs in the fridge, rather lonely.  Don't worry, I'll be back.  I've got to squeeze at least one more update out of this. Maybe two.


UPDATE:  2:48am
Five beers gone, and everything is gravy.  I'm disappointed I can still form coherent thoughts in my head even.  that's the same as drinking two 40oz. bottles of beer.  Were you aware of that??  I mean, my brain can barely comprehend it.  Only diffrence I can rightly tell between this state of being and any other is that I'm pretty okay with everything.  Easy going as shit right now, man.  My documentaries are over and so are 5 and a bit of my 6 beers.  That phrasing reminds me.  (see?  I notice the jumps my mind makes are even more randome and disconnected in this drunken state)

England.  It's a pretty fucking great place.  I might even go so far as to say that the UK is the second best country in the world.  Wait, is the United Kingdom a country?  or are England, Scotland, and Wales all separate entities??  Well, I mean I know they're separate, but how separate?  That's beside the point.

England is pretty awesome.  Or the UK.  Maybe both?  I mean, they have a royal family, but they have no authority.  A symbolic monarchy?  It's just poetic and beautiful in a very strange way.  And speaking of poetic and beautiful, those lot have got quite a history with words.  Invented the English language, don't you know.  Shakespeare.  The Beatles.  The BBC.  The same nation that produced Bowie and Led Zeppelin.  Plus, soccer.  Football, as they call it.  And they've got my favorite show (Top Gear) on the tele.  ANd colossally awesome accents.  Sure, they've got bad teeth, but so do I.  Who gives a shit?  What a rich culture!  If they had baseball in England, it'd be a nearly perfect nation.  Instead theyv'e got cricket.  What the fuck is cricket?  I don't even know, man.

It's time to smoke a cigarette.  I love cigaretes.  Nicotine is pretty awesome too.  But you know what?  You can buy half packs of cigarettes in England.  A pack with only 10 cigarettes in it.  That's just god damn adorable.  Later.  Much.


UPDAETE: 3:57am

not to be disappointed, hre is a picture of a cat

So all of my beer is gone.  that's 96 ounces.  That's quite a lot of beer.  I'm going tobrush my teeth, drink some milk, and eat some chocolates.  Fuckain valentine's day is quite over.  Another cute picture?

is this or is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen?

That is all.  I don't know what i was going to be talkinb about, but the time has come bor baed.  I'm not even going goin to bother correcting those typos.  I figure you deserve to see it as it is for a bit.  Bed time, kiddos.

Good night and good luck.

;)

Fear and Loathing in Shorter, Alabama

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned.  It has been nearly two weeks since my last confession entry.  I'm pretty sure I haven't even uploaded a single mixtape this year.  Yet.  That's not to say I haven't made one or two or seven, they just haven't gotten uploaded.  I know this sounds like an excuse, but I've been working a lot...  I barely have a social life anymore.  And I've been experimenting with new music and rediscovering forgotten artists.

picture not related to anything other than being fucking awesome.

Okay, so most of that is bullshit.  I've just been kind of lazy lately.  I end up coming home from work, watching a movie, playing video games, taking too much nyquil, and sleeping into a dream coma.  Well, that's what happened yesterday, anyway.  I find that if I don't force myself to do something regularly, it turns into this kind of situation we find ourselves in right now.  So far, this is a blog post about my failures as a blogger.  So far, this is a stream of consciousness.  The words that pop in my head are translated into finger strokes and words on the computer screen.  I'm listening to the Silversun Pickups again.  Again?  Did I ever stop??  I should start painting again...  This is getting pointless......

Last time we spoke, I was excited about going to see Best Coast, Wavves, etc, blah blah blah, you already know about this part.  The show was fucking awesome.  Wavves closed with my favorite song, played a bunch of really good ones in the middle, and I think there was probably a cover in there somewhere.  I can't exactly recall because I was too immediately intoxicated to file it away in my long term memory.  Best Coast was a different story.  I don't know what I was expecting, but it surpassed it by a factor of 124%.  They pretty much played every song you could have wanted them to play.  I can't remember a single song off of Crazy For You that didn't get played in there somewhere.  Scattered amongst the mix were a few gems from earlier EPs and 7"s (notably "That's The Way Boys Are" and "Sun Was High (So Was I)").  Their sound is even better live and Bethany is just plain adorable.  That's all I have to say about that.

if this don't make you happy, get the fuck outta here

And now it's time for another picture story!  Are you excited?  Cause I sure am.

So last friday, I got off work and texted the homeboys to let it be known that I had the whole weekend off for the first time since starting this job.  Tyler's suggestion was that we drive across the border to Alabama and hit up the casino.  The motion passed unanimously, and frankly, I had my sights set high.  I had just gotten paid and realized pretty quickly that I could afford to spend $100 and still be on pace to get the car I'd just found at a used lot by the end of the month.

1995 Mercedes C280.  classy as fuck

Needless to say, I was stoked.  I'm a secret ninja at blackjack and have known the basics of card counting since I was about 14.  I'd been to a casino only once before, in Mississippi and it wasn't all that great.  For some reason though, I knew this would be different.

what I was expecting.  not literally the Bellagio, but fancy fountains and lights and stuff.

I knew I was going to make a fortune at the tables.  We were going to clean these suckers out and next time, we'd go to Vegas and do it up right.  We were going to drink at the bar for free, I was going to quadruple my money, and we were going to get comped a night at what must surely be the finest hotel in the state (in retrospect, even the finest hotel in Alabama can't be too great).

doin' work.

I was going to win enough to buy that car, a new bass, and a lot of cool shit.  Strippers and alcohol, the works.  I think you get where I'm going with this.  Weezy was going to deliver a briefcase full of money to me at the craps table.

evidently this is an average day in Wayne's life.

Late that night, however, I learned that in the proud state of Alabama, casinos are not popular with the lawmakers.  The one we were planning on going to had been raided by the governor's special anti-gaming task force several times in the past six months.  I then discovered that Alabama casinos do not have table games, just pure games of chance, and that by law, their slot machines must be called "bingo" machines in order to stay within a legal loophole.  My reaction?

WHAT

THE

I was somewhat less than pleased.

But then, Tyler told me they had dogs and a racetrack, so I kind of changed my attitude.

yes, there is a strategy to picking the right dog.  pick one that's not fat, looks strong, and takes the biggest dump before the race.

I thought the dog track angle was pretty cool at least.  It might be kind of seedy and frowned upon by animal rights activists, but dammit, this is gambling, and I was looking for a good time.  If I could make money picking dogs and playing slots while drinking for free, then I'm calling it a good day.  In a worst case scenario, it played out kind of like the Hangover and we all have a lot of fun at least.

we didnt' find a baby, but I might have stolen a cop car on the ride home

So, after 3 hours driving and much anticipation, we walked in and... well... this is what we got.

at least you can smoke indoors here

Old people and poor folks all winning the money that rightly should have been ours in games of chance. You can spend lose a lot of money very fast at a casino.  I found this out by losing nearly $100 in the first 45 minutes after sitting down.  I ended up hitting what would have been (I'm told) a $2000+ jackpot had Tyler not convinced me to quit wagering $3 on every pull of the slot machine.  In the end, I barely broke even and covered most of my expenses for the trip.  I smoked way too many cigarettes, had a few free beers and a surprisingly good bbq sandwich, and learned a valuable lesson.

That lesson?

Stay the fuck out of Alabama if you can avoid it.  Unless you like good barbecue and college football, in which case, proceed.  That's actually probably unnecessarily harsh, all things considered.  I did have a good time, but I'm not sure how I'd play it if I had it all to do over again.

Next time, we're rolling to Biloxi, Mississippi in a white Benz.  Consequences be damned.  I'm letting it all ride on the next hand.

Hey guess what. No really, guess.

pirate juice

You may be wondering to yourself, "hey, what's that picture all about?  is that some pirate juice?"  And if that's actually what you thought, then yeah, you're absolutely right.  No, actually that was sarcastic.  It's poison.  You want antidote?  I got the poison.  So, gratuitous and unnecessary Hives references aside, I actually had some reason for posting that there.  I can't for the life of me remember it now.

For what it's worth, I got myself a new ipod today.  It's manly as fuck.  And purple.  How is a purple ipod manly?  Well, are you secure enough in your masculinity to have a purple ipod??  No.  I thought not.  That last line is sexist, insensitive, and presumes that you are a male.  In all likelihood, you may not be.  I apologize for that.  Well, if you're a lady you probably think it's cool.  Even if you don't think it's cool, it is.  It's a nano, the only ipod model I've yet to own, and I have to say, so far it's my favorite.  It's just so... precious, for lack of a better word.  I mean, the damn thing is teensy weensy.  I wasn't really expecting that for some reason.  I love it, though.  I'm hoping it'll motivate me to listen to more music, which will in turn motivate me to explore and discover more music which I can share with you.  And frankly, if that's not a happy thought and doesn't strike you positively, you can go drink a whole bottle of pirate juice.

Okay, back to the main point.  Seriously, guess what.  Okay man, you suck at this game.  So I'm finally going to a concert tomorrow.  First real one in...  shit, man.  I don't even want to think about how long.  So who do you think is playing?  Need a hint??

mmmmmmmmmustang............

Got it yet??  Need another hint?

this album cover still doesn't make much sense to me

It's Best Coast.  Did you get it yet?  If you didn't, then... well...  umm...  I don't have anything nice to say, so I better not say anything.  Anyway, they're playing with these guys...

what band do you think this is?  hint: it's Wavves

So needless to say I'm pretty stoked.  There'll be a little of this:

is it possible to look more apathetic while playing guitar?

And some of this...

and on the 7th day, hipster Jesus created Pabst

And a whole lot of this...

Fuckk yesss...

At this place...

the (in)famous 40 Watt Club, Athens, GA

And at some point you'll probably want one of these...

because nothing goes with loud guitars and overpriced beer quite like polish sausage soaked in bbq sauce.

And if that don't bring a smile to your face, then you have a heart of stone.  If I can make myself remember to, I'll try and take some pictures.  Hopefully they won't come out all blurry and shitty.  I'll also try and remember to not drink too many beers so I can describe everything in painstaking detail.  So at some point in the near future I'll let you know how it was so you can be jealous and kill yourself because your life will never be as awesome as mine and simply can't go on living with that knowledge anymore.  I don't really want that to happen, because if you killed yourself, then you couldn't read my blog anymore.  Unless ghosts can get internet access??  I don't know, man.  That's a different argument entirely.

On a 100% unrelated matter, it was recently confirmed to me that my spirit animal is, in fact, the crow.

crows are pretty badass.

How do I know this?  It's irrelevant.  But for some reason it just feels right.  I don't actually sincerely believe in this kind of thing, but if I did, I would be happy.  Well, I'm happy either way.  Crows are kind of cool.  But are they cooler than wolves?

yeah, so wolves are still cooler

No.  But I bet a wolf would respect a crow.


And that's fucking saying something, man.














ps- how fucking awesome is that picture of Hipster Jesus??