Drunk bloggin' on V-day

me & my lady.

Hey ya'll.  It's Paula Corey.  (I'm just tipsy enough to tell that joke and laugh at it, hoping you'll get it.  but if you're not from Georgia, or don't know anything about Paula Dean, you won't)

So valentine's day.  It's a bullshit holiday.  I'm willing to argue about that if need be.  It's always a bad day if you're single, unless you're empowered or in a good mood or find out you have a secret crush or some bullshit like that.  Fact is, though, I had a really shitty day.  Maybe I'll tell you about it later, but I'm not feeling up to typing it all out right now.

All kinds of shit that could go wrong did.  I had to work early and got off late.  Didn't have anyone to hang out with.  Had to eat my dinner re-heated.  Single.  Etc.  And then to top it off, Kroger didn't have any PBR pint cans.  What the fuck.  How do you run a grocery store beer aisle and not have any Pabst tallboys?  Hipsters unite in rebellion!

So I settled for the High life.  6 cans started, 2 and a half down.  My alcohol tolerance?  Also down.

My theory is that it has a pretty lady on the can, so she can be my valentine.  One thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that these chewy peach flavored gummies I've got go with it incredibly well.  This shit is good.  Anyway, it's midnight right now.  The end of a long day's journey into night.  I'll keep providing updates as the evening progresses and as I continue to imbibe some booze.

Oh yeah, and I also made the best drunk impulse buy ever the other day.  $8 to renew my Netflix subscription?  Hell yes, please.  Fire up the gritty foreign films, the crime dramas, and the political documentaries.  I'm eatin' this shit up.  I especially love the intense, super in-depth questionnaire about your movie taste preferences.  Just in case you have a special fondness for Swedish language car chase movies or muppet buddy cop dramedies.  No kidding.  I'll be back in a few.  Probably with more grammatical mistakes and spelling errors.  And pictures of cats?  You bet your ass.

UPDATE: 1:22am


So make it 4 tallboys now.  That's 64 fluid ounces of cheap domestic beer.  Feelin' pretty good by now, and still surprisingly able to type coherently.  I've started my second documentary of the evening, a feel-good piece by the good folks at National Geographic about military contractors in Iraq.  Blackwater and that type of stuff.  It's actually pretty badass.  The one I just finished was about a vicious political campaign for mayor in Newark, NJ.

all of the reviews on this are dead on.  6 stars out of 5, from me

This is it.  Pictured to the left right.  Sorry.  I mixed myself up by trying to format everything in a fancy way.  And by fancy I mean switching sides on you.  Boom, boom!  It's like that.  It's over here,then it's over there.  You get it?  You got it.  Good.

Oh dang, man.  SOmebody just got shot on tv.  See?  I told you this whole netflix thing was a great idea.

Speaking of military contractors and the military, (and thusly, the navy, because it's part of the military) did I tell you I joined the Navy?  Because I did.  That happened a few weeks ago.  It'll be a while before I go anywhere, though.  September, to be exact.  Don't worry, I'll keep it happening until then.  It's just that there will be a period of 8 weeks in the future where there will be abosolutely no blog posts.  None.  Nada.  I'll be in boot camp.  It can't be avoided.  But it's okay, because I'll have a cool job that's guaranteed so long as everything stays on the up and up and I'll get to go to law school for free when all is said and done.  And did I mention the travel?  Fuck yes, the travel.  I'm gonna see the world.  All from the deck of a really big boat.  Maybe one like this.

you'll never sink my battleship

Is it just me, or is that epic looking?  Okay, so I probably won't be on a battleship, but it's nice to know that if a war breaks out, I've got something like that covering me.

Just so you know, I'm not a right wing nutjob, crazy person, or anything like that.  As a matter of fact, I'm a registered Democrat.  A bleeding heart liberal who believes in gun control and protests unjust wars.  Just a guy who ran out of money for college, has a lust to travel, and a desire to do something meaningful.  You can be in the military and still be a hipster, right?  I'm struggling with that a little bit.  That whole nervous and excited at the same time kind of feeling.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there.  Maybe I'll write more about that sometime when I'm sober as the date draws nearer.  Unless you comment and ask about it.  You folks are suspisciously quiet...

Time for more netflix.  Or video games.  And beer.  This can is empty and my valentine is downstairs in the fridge, rather lonely.  Don't worry, I'll be back.  I've got to squeeze at least one more update out of this. Maybe two.


UPDATE:  2:48am
Five beers gone, and everything is gravy.  I'm disappointed I can still form coherent thoughts in my head even.  that's the same as drinking two 40oz. bottles of beer.  Were you aware of that??  I mean, my brain can barely comprehend it.  Only diffrence I can rightly tell between this state of being and any other is that I'm pretty okay with everything.  Easy going as shit right now, man.  My documentaries are over and so are 5 and a bit of my 6 beers.  That phrasing reminds me.  (see?  I notice the jumps my mind makes are even more randome and disconnected in this drunken state)

England.  It's a pretty fucking great place.  I might even go so far as to say that the UK is the second best country in the world.  Wait, is the United Kingdom a country?  or are England, Scotland, and Wales all separate entities??  Well, I mean I know they're separate, but how separate?  That's beside the point.

England is pretty awesome.  Or the UK.  Maybe both?  I mean, they have a royal family, but they have no authority.  A symbolic monarchy?  It's just poetic and beautiful in a very strange way.  And speaking of poetic and beautiful, those lot have got quite a history with words.  Invented the English language, don't you know.  Shakespeare.  The Beatles.  The BBC.  The same nation that produced Bowie and Led Zeppelin.  Plus, soccer.  Football, as they call it.  And they've got my favorite show (Top Gear) on the tele.  ANd colossally awesome accents.  Sure, they've got bad teeth, but so do I.  Who gives a shit?  What a rich culture!  If they had baseball in England, it'd be a nearly perfect nation.  Instead theyv'e got cricket.  What the fuck is cricket?  I don't even know, man.

It's time to smoke a cigarette.  I love cigaretes.  Nicotine is pretty awesome too.  But you know what?  You can buy half packs of cigarettes in England.  A pack with only 10 cigarettes in it.  That's just god damn adorable.  Later.  Much.


UPDAETE: 3:57am

not to be disappointed, hre is a picture of a cat

So all of my beer is gone.  that's 96 ounces.  That's quite a lot of beer.  I'm going tobrush my teeth, drink some milk, and eat some chocolates.  Fuckain valentine's day is quite over.  Another cute picture?

is this or is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen?

That is all.  I don't know what i was going to be talkinb about, but the time has come bor baed.  I'm not even going goin to bother correcting those typos.  I figure you deserve to see it as it is for a bit.  Bed time, kiddos.

Good night and good luck.

;)

unemployment and other fine points

Being a jobless slacker affords one many opportunities to indulge in the simpler pleasures of life.  "Why Corey, what do you mean by that statement?" you may be asking yourself right now (if you literally asked yourself that out loud, consider seeking psychological assistance.  you may have some sort of disorder).  Well, good sirs and ladies, allow me to elaborate.  Though my desperation to find gainful employment in any sort of job that will not make me hate my life and pays a decent wage has pushed me to apply for every position from "Dog Trainer" to "Flight Attendant" to "Tow Truck Dispatcher", I have still found the time to play bass until my fingers have been shredded beyond recognition, do a considerable amount of writing, and watch some truly epic films.

In addition to surf guitar, loud noises, and videogames, I have a sincere appreciation for foreign films.  And may I just issue a hearty "bravo" to the German film industry.  I just got through watching The Baader Meinhof Complex, and I have to say, it is most definitely among the best films of the past few years.  Period.  End of story.  It's about a Marxist left-wing extremist group that operated at it's peak in West Germany from about 1967-1977 which engaged in a series of increasingly violent acts.  Starts as a bunch of students rioting in response to police brutality and ends up as a bunch of violent revolutionaries trying to free their leaders from prison.  Along the way, they rob 3 banks in 10 minutes in West Berlin, steal some Porsches and race down the autobahn firing Berettas wildly out the windows, living the kind of wild, criminal lifestyle most of us are too afraid to even dream of.  There's also a lot of random nudity (not a bad thing?) and some seriously graphic violence (also not a bad thing).  Most incredibly, everything you see actually happened.  I don't mean for this to turn into a movie review, but this is definitely a film that makes you want to change something about yourself, stop sitting idly by, and do something to change the world.  Anyway, for those of you who are more visually driven, here's the film's poster.

Boom.  Stolen from the internet.  Just like 90% of the pictures and music you will ever find on this blog.  Whoops?  Did I say that??  I meant... umm... legally acquired via an undisclosed source.  Internet piracy is bad.  Actually, I retract that.  In fact, here's a link where you can read about the "internet blacklist" that's being proposed to congress to "protect copyright infringement".  Realistically, it sets up an internet police state like in China.  Do you want the government to block you from viewing whatever sites they feel like just because they think it may or may not infringe on what are, let's face it, incredibly vague copyright laws??  Hell no!  So in that case, here's another link where you can sign the online petition to block this legislation, or at least voice your opinion against it.  And why stop there??  Why don't you email your senator and let him or her (just realized how few female senators we have.  jesus, people.  it's 2010.  let's get with the god damn program) know exactly what you think of the situation.

In a way, that's what the whole movie is about.  No, not internet rights, but lashing out and taking a stand against governmental actions that you don't agree with.  Maybe that's how all extremist groups start out, I guess.  Somebody has a really strong opinion about something and they take their opposition to whatever that may be to a totally different level.  Sure, it's messy, and a lot of innocent people end up getting hurt, but these people have principles, dammit.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  But you know, no one seems to be making that kind of angry music anymore.  Who's the voice of the revolution these days??  It used to be so clear, like when Dylan went electric, or Hendrix and Cash started to sing about the Vietnam war.  Maybe Tyler Durden had it right when he said "We have no great war.  No great depression."  Our generation seems so concerned with self-discovery and masturbating our own egos that I think we've all lost sight of what really matters, like people and causes and being happy with where we're at and what we're doing.

In any case, every time I apply for one of these different jobs, I keep picturing myself doing that and wondering is that something I'm going to be happy doing in the long term.  Maybe that's not the right approach.  Maybe what we should all be doing is focusing on what we can all do to make ourselves just a little bit happier and more fulfilled right this very minute.  Maybe that's terrible advice and it's probably incredibly irresponsible.  Shit, at this point I don't even know if I care.

But I do know that if one of these places doesn't give me a job soon, I might have to resort to being a con artists or a Marxist extremist.  Or maybe something really outrageous...